Day 75: Making Friends and the Safety of Anonymity

It is nice living in Discovery Bay, where so many other people are in the “same boat”.  If you keep any kind of regular routine, you will eventually start running into the same people doing the same things – as they also have routines.  Some have dogs, some have babies (some say DB stands for “dogs and babies”, instead of Discovery Bay).  I have found some really nice stay at home moms at my baby swim class last week, and today a few of us had lunch and then went swimming.  It was a great afternoon.

It is so nice talking about the babies, what they are up to and what stages they are going thru.  It is almost therapeutic to know of the challenges that some people have had and overcome – knowing you have also overcome those same challenges, or that you will encounter them and will prevail. And there is so much to learn from other parents if you just talk a bit.

Of course in the process of getting to know one another, you ask questions.  You find out the back story, the “who”, “what”, and “where” of the person, their spouse, and what it is that makes them find themselves also in Discovery Bay with a child.  It is nice to get to know people on a more personal level, and to have them get to know you.

Today I realized you are really giving up something when you get out of your bubble and get to know people.  You are letting go of the safety of anonymity, and you are putting yourself out there.  They might not like you, they might not like your “story”, they might think something you said or did while you were talking was weird.  You want them to like you, you want to be included and sought after as a friend.  I never realized how much over time I have come to appreciate that safety of being the anonymous person in the crowd – maybe one reason I like to live in cities rather than smaller towns; there is comfort in that bubble.

Of course when you break thru that bubble, your life is 100x more enriched, and you are glad you have these new friends and companions in your life – and they could be lifelong friends that you never would have planned on.  If not, it is no big deal, but it is kind of cool to think about that potential.  It is fun to meet new people, but you will never meet anyone if you stay anonymous.

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