Author: Pappa on Leave

Day 258: Adjusting your Baby or Toddler to Jetlag

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We are back in Hong Kong now and we are exhausted.  My wife and I have both been up for more than 32 hours, and we are getting ready for bed shortly.  More important than focusing on our own jetlag is gettting the little guy over jetlag – so he will sleep all the way thru the nights and allow us to get our rest.

There are a lot of methods for how to help your little one overcome jetlag for a long-haul flight.  Many people take it 1 day at a time, and say the old expression, “1 day for every time zone.”  But to be honest, that is not working for us, we don’t have a week (or want to waste a week) to get into the swing of things.  So what we do for the little guy is the same thing we do for ourselves as very frequent international travelers.

  • Start your mindset being in the new time zone as soon as you can on the plane.  Usually for me it is about 1/2 way through the flight, during that weird in-between period where the lights are off and everyone is sleeping, even if it is 14:00 in your home time zone.
    • This means if it is 12:00 in your departure country and 19:00 in your landing country, you should be thinking of that “lunch” as dinner, and maybe watch a movie and go to sleep after that meal as close to your normal bedtime as you can.
    • With a Baby or Toddler: This means adjusting their naps and routines, so that if you are normally putting them to bed at 20:00, you are doing so right after that lunch meal.  They might think of it as a nap, but it is important to treat it like it is the night sleep time with the same night time routines (reading a book, pajamas, etc.).
  • When you get off the plane, adjust immediately to the new time zone by following all the things you would normally do.  For us today, since we arrived to our place at around 8:00 in the morning, here’s what it meant:
    • My wife worked
    • Fed the little guy breakfast
    • Went for a walk at 9:30 and let him have his morning nap (not too long – it’s only a nap!)

And so on, through the day, following your normal meal and sleep routines.

It would be really appealing to cuddle up in the afternoon when you are exhausted and take a big family 4-hour nap, or let the little guy sleep all day.  But I can say that if you follow these steps, you will be completely over jetlag in just 2-3 days (maximum).  It’s no fun to deal with jetlag, so why make it longer than you have to?

Day 257: Baby Play Area in SAS Lounge in Arlanda Airport

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Today we fly back to Hong Kong on another day flight with no connections.  Tjoho for the no connections part, but we will see about the day flight with an active little guy.

The journey has started off well with an amazingly renovated SAS lounge in Stockholm’s Arlanda Airport.  They have a great playroom that we were happy to see – it kept the little guy active and gave him a chance to burn some energy as we waited to board, and hopefully that will lead to a smooth flight ahead! 

   

Day 256: Food in the Mouth?

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As you know, we have realized the little guy is not happy eating babyfood.  Basically he needs to eat what we eat, and wants to do it for himself.  

Today we had spaghetti and moose meat bolognese sauce.  He didn’t eat the meat or sauce, but he did eat the spaghetti.  Or so we thought: 

 
The floor afterwards was like a mine field; every time we walked by the table got the hour after eating, we dealt with a gooey sock from stepping on spaghetti.

This leaves my wife and I asking the question: “now, how can we be sure he’s getting enough food?”  I think the answer to that is two-fold. First is that he will eat if he is hungry, and the second is that we should just pay attention to him and his cues and make sure the food is there when he does show he is hungry.  It’s not necessarily good if he’s eating if we are force-feeding him, which is easier to do with babyfood, and there is a growing movement to simply provide your little one with the food they will need, and if they don’t eat, don’t push it.  

This will of course help create healthier attitudes towards food later on.  I am all for this, but I also care about the little guy getting the nutrients he needs – but I guess you can’t push it or eating for him will become an”thing” – something we would all like to avoid if possible!

Day 255: the little guy turns one

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It’s a big day in our family; the little guy turns one today.  It’s a bit wild that this day is upon us because the year has both flown by and been interesting and wonderful, but it has also been one of the hardest years I’ve lived through.

It is has been interesting and wonderful because I have been blown away as the little guy has learned all sorts of things and developed and grown both naturally and with our help.  We were amazed at the little things, like when he could first laugh at what we did, and we are now amazed at all the things he continues to learn, ex: that I taught him to stick out his tongue, and now he does that to start playing a joke.  All these things, as small as they seem to the outsider, are huge to us.  It’s been the growth of our little guy from a baby into a toddler, and it has been fascinating.

The difficult parts are well documented everywhere online, and I can say they are probably all true in one way or another.  You as a parent are redefined; people say hi to your little one, not you – and that basically covers it in a nutshell. Your priorities shift in a major way, as you care about things that will impact the life of the little guy and what it will mean for him.  

In addition, as a parent, your relationship is under strain.  All the time.  And you both feel frustrated that you are not able to just put things on autopilot since there are so many other things to focus on.  Who you are as a couple is not who you were 1 year ago.  You are parents now, and the bond you have at this point is most likely more like  the one soldiers who have gone through wars together feel, and less of the romance of a 1990s Johnny Depp movie.  But strangely it is all worth it with every smile, every accomplishment, every little success you share together as a couple and as a family.  You will get through it, it is hard for everyone.

So as we look forward into the next year, my hopes are simple.  I hope we can become a tighter family who is more focused on being one together.  I hope we can show our son in the year ahead how to operate in the world as a good human, who has love as the first thing in our hearts and minds.  And I hope to laugh.  A lot.  Without too much prompting – life is short, this first year has flown by as if someone hit the fast forward button.  And the only way it will not speed up too much is to just enjoy the ride without holding on too tight. 😉

Day 254: The End of Babyfood

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It has become painfully clear that it is time to quit trying to feed the little guy babyfood.  By this I mean puréed foods, often in a jar or made with a mixer, that are given to the little ones with their delicate palates and stomachs.  On the one hand they are convenient, and on the other hand they offer some security and an illusion of control.

Over the last weeks, the little guy is more and more insistent upon feeding himself, and not only the things that we place in front of him.  Now he wants the same food we are eating.  Not just a portion for himself, but our food.  We have gone in the past with slipping baby food into his mouth when he reached for other bits of food we gave him, but now he’s onto us; his mouth is a steel clamp as soon as he reaches for things, unless he wants what we are trying to feed him.  So now it’s time to give him the same thing we have for dinner, which simply requires adding salt and strong seasonings after the fact for things we cooked, and giving him the blander version.  

The end of babyfood is also the end of an era, or the end of an age.  He is no longer a baby, and that is a bit weird to me.  He was born 1 year ago, and I can’t believe he is now eating on his own, has his own opinions, and so on.  So I guess babyfood signified something more, and keeping it too long could be an effort to keep the “baby” phase longer that it should be here.  

Things move on, children grow up, evolve, and move past things – more often than not, they probably move past things quicker than the parents want them to.  So I guess I’ll remember and remind myself of babyfood in the future as a way to say, “hey man, let go, it’s time for a new era with your son.”

Day 253: First Birthday Party

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The little guy turns one during the week ahead so we had a birthday party for him today!  It was great fun to see his extended family again, and this time to host a party at our house.  It’s a lot of work, but nice to have a house full of people.

My wife went all out, purchasing decorations and baking all sorts of things for the guests.  She also made a special cake for the little guy, made of various fruits and topped with cream.  

The baked goods were a big hit for the guests, but the little guy, who is much more into savory flavors than sweet ones, was not to into his special cake.  I think we will want to treasure this, it will not go on forever that he is not a fan of sweet things 😉

Day 252: Picking Chantarelles

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One of my favorite hobbies that I have picked up since I moved to Sweden is mushroom hunting; in particular, I really enjoy hunting for Chantarelles.  There are many kinds of Chantarelles, but the ones I like the most are the brown trumpets, which have a really rich and deep, earthy flavor. 

 Today we went out for what was most likely the last good day of the year for mushroom hunting.  The weather is getting colder, and once the frost hits you are basically finished – but also when it gets too cold and damp, it is also the end of the season.

My wife’s sister took us to a few of her favorite spots, which yielded an ok amount.  Nothing crazy, but we should not complain, we are 1 week into November and there could be snow on the ground.   

 The best thing about a mushroom hunting outing is enjoying the forest, the quiet. It is strangely calming on the nerves that get wound up in the busy world we live in.  Plus, you come home with some delicious mushrooms that will go well with some moose or wild boar meat 🙂

Day 251: The Sound of a Car

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My wife arrived back home late last night, so it was nice to see her playing with the little guy this morning in his room.  He has a fantastic rug from IKEA that has roads on it, and thus with cars it potentially provides hours of enjoyment. 

look at all those roads!
 As I have played with him in the past week I have payed little attention to the roads or the cars; we have just played on the carpet.  But my wife today played with him and the cars on the roads in the carpets – and while doing so, made the noises of the cars.  And I’ll be damned if the little guy didn’t mimic the sounds she made of the cars on the roads when he pushed the cars around!  We enter a new era of mimicry now – which can be both horrifying and awesome 😉

Day 250: Walking in the 0 Degree Weather with the Baby Sleeping

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One of the craziest things I heard about Sweden before I moved here was that Swedes bring their babies outside when it is cold to have them sleep or take a nap.  I don’t mean “oh it’s a little chilly, better bring a blanket.”  I mean, “damn it’s cold, I hope my nose doesn’t freeze off.”  It’s the second kind of cold, you know, when it just goes to your bones and makes you shiver and stay that way until you are inside for 3 hours.

So what’s the deal?  Do Swedish people hate their children?  There’s a few things.  First, Swedish people love to talk about anything “fresh” – so in this case, it’s the “fresh air.”  You will hear things like, “oh the fresh air is good for the baby.” (Nobody knows or can explain just how / why it is so good for them, but it must be, because it’s “fresh”). 

The other thing is that they bundle their babies up in these things called “åkpåse.”  They are like tiny little sleeping bags lined with sheepskins.  And let me tell you, even in the coldest weather last winter when the little guy was only a few months old, when we put our hand into the åkpåse, it was toasty warm and delightful.  Anyone would sleep well in that, especially while breathing that important fresh air. 

 So, this morning, when I looked outside at the thermometer and saw it was 0 degrees celcius, I did what any logical parent in Sweden would do.  I went for a walk with the little guy in the forest.  And I will say this: the autumn air was indeed fresh, and it was almost spiritual out there on the path all alone with me, the forest, and my son.  🙂 

 

Day 249: IKEA in Sweden gives away free baby food to customers

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I am still blown away by a simple yet awesome thing I experienced at IKEA yesterday.  If you are in their cafe and buy a warm meal, you get a free jar of baby food!  And this is not just generic baby food, it’s Semper, a good brand in Sweden. 

  

our meal
 
So basically what happened yesterday was that I spent a lot of time and money at IKEA for things in the house.  It was more time than I expected, and I was a bit hungry and anticipated that soon the little guy would be too, so I went up to the cafe with plans to eat and give the little guy a snack.  To my astonishment they had a selection of free baby food for customers.  This was a relatively inexpensive thing for them to do, but as a parent you appreciate when companies are doing things that help you out.  In addition, they have a nice family eating area and play area by the cafe.  IKEA just gets it right sometimes. 🙂