Today was another nice day out with the family – we strapped the baby on, and went to “MOKO“, the mall in East Mong Kok. It is packed on Sundays because the locals work 6 days a week and have Sundays off, but we navigated thru the crowds.
On one floor, there are tons of baby stores. Very cool! And one of the top floors, we found a baby store called Eugene Baby. This is an amazing store. They literally have the best variety of legitimate items that I have seen at a baby store (not just rows of toys). A billion strollers? Bottles in every brand? Bottle warmers? Food? Good toys? Things you need but haven’t even thought if it yet? Anything else you might want? YES! So we enjoyed it and finally bought a bottle warmer.
The one we ended up with is an awesome little gem made by Babymate. It is technically a “5 in 1” – it warms bottles, warms food, disinfects bottles, boils eggs, and extracts juice. (To be honest, on those last 2, I think they were just looking for something to do with a few extra plastic pieces they had at the warehouse 😉 ) Nonetheless, it works great, and I like that it can keep a bottle warm for hours, so you can plan ahead a little if you need to – for example if the little guy will be hungry when he wakes up from his nap, I can get it ready and not worry if he sleeps a little longer than I anticipated.
the greatest bottle warmer ever made
While we were in the store we noticed we needed to feed and change the little guy (it was earlier than planned). So, I took a chance and asked if they had a feeding room, and to my surprise, they did! I had not really seen feeding rooms here, but maybe this is because I have not been looking? Later in the day I saw one at the mall near where we are living, too. So currently I know about 3 feeding rooms in different parts of the city:
After the mall, it was time to go thru a market (Fa Yuen Market) and see if I could find a fanny pack. I did not lie when I said in an earlier post that this was a weekend project! And to my good fortune (and to fashion’s bad fortune), I found one for only 15HKD (16 sek, or 2 usd). Victory! There were a lot to choose from, and most with labels that were printed largely saying things like “EXPLORE” and “ORIGINAL”. But I found a nice understated one that I am excited about. I never thought I’d be excited about a fanny pack, but that’s how it goes. I’m a dad now, I don’t have to worry about how I look, right? Plus it’s 2015 and the 90’s are super hot right now, so why not embrace this part of the 90’s? My wife is not quite as excited as me, but it blends in perfectly with the Baby Bjorn, so I think it’s going to be great.
fanny pack loaded with the essentials: 2 diapers, tissues, wet wipes, phone, wallet, metro card, and keysseamless integration into the baby bjorn
There was also a long discussion about if we should leave the Joolz Day stroller back in Sweden next time we go back because it is very big, and buy a smaller one here. So that is on our minds as we head into the next week.
Today we had a nice day as a family: we went looking at apartments again, then a day in Hong Kong central at a few malls looking for some pajamas for the little guy and and enjoying the nice supermarkets. In the exploration of the day we found an “American Supermarket” called A & M, and it was crazy to see things I have not seen or thought of since I moved to Sweden over 3 years ago (skinny cow snacks, for example) plus things I was pumped to see (pretzel m&m’s, chex mix, and Reese’s pieces, for example).
We made our way home and took the opportunity to get the house under control – unpack and put away final things, and make a proper dinner (lax, mathavre, & brocoli). The afternoon and evening reminded me of the need to have some regularity in our lives – in a city of “irregular”; to make an effort to have “regular” – don’t eat food from restaurants all be time, spend time together as a family, do the important things together to stay connected and whole. I guess you don’t need to hear from a person who is in HK about the importance of making those things a priority, but it maybe doesn’t hurt to have the reminder. 😉
Today was another busy day filled with adventure (depending on how you define “adventure”). It was also a major day for learning a big lesson about planning ahead with a baby.
The thing that is special about the little guy is once you strap him into the Baby Bjorn, he is pretty much happy drifting between sleeping and looking around for long periods of time. But even if he is happy doing this, you still have to plan some natural breaks to take care of his needs and not put too much pressure on him to “hang in there” (no pun intended).
Take today for example: We left the apartment at 12:15, went to a shady iphone repair place, then walked up Nathan Road and made our way to Tai Kok Tsui to meet my wife by 14:00. By the way, I found all sorts of wonderful places to buy random things. Think of them like “districts”. For example near where we currently live is an area where all the stores sell bathroom sinks and mirrors (the “bathroom sink and mirror disctrict”). There is also an area where all shops sell lamps. Another with just kitchen stuff. So along the way today I also found the “shower head district” (my own title, surely it does not exist officially) and the “broken and repaired flat-screen tv district”. And I also looked at baby clothes at a street market.
Anyway, we met and then we went to Discovery Bay, where we then fed the little guy at 15:00 (right on schedule), played a little and were back on our way. But then we met with the realtor (we are looking at moving to Discovery Bay, and they use realtors to find rentals here), and we were going for a while looking at apartments. Finally when we got done, it was 18:00 and we needed to eat, the little guy was sleeping and would need to eat soon, and it was also rush hour on friday. Not a good scenario. So we had a choice to make: 1) stay and relax, eat dinner, feed him, and change him, then make our way home once we are all satisfied. Call this the “Take it easy” plan. Or, 2) get moving NOW during rush hour, go home while he is sleeping, and feed and change him at home – and in the process, pray to God that the little guy doesn’t wake up and get whiny. Call this the “Test Your Stress Tolerance” plan. Of course we went with option 2, he got whiny on the metro, and naturally that led to my wife and I experiencing more stress than necessary.
To make our lives easier, when planning our day, we could have said, “ok, after the realtor, we will change and feed him and go out for a nice dinner and discuss the housing options (or return home).” So that was a lesson learned – plan ahead, think in 3,5-hour increments, because our little guy is on a 3,5-hour cycle thru the afternoons, usually. Don’t wait for him to scream, be proactive and fix things before he gets whiny – set him for success, and it will be good for everyone.
By the way the other lesson learned was always save a receipt when you get your cracked iphone screen fixed at a shady place in HK.
Last night was not super smooth with the baby getting over his jetlag. Basically he woke up at 1:00 and wanted to be up for the day. You can always tell when he is going to wake up because he moves his head back and forth (like he’s trying to find a comfortable position), and there’s usually some grunting, too. Earlier in his young life he was coughing/hacking a lot while he slept, and this was because of GERD (acid reflux), but I’ll come back to that later.
Grunting can be the cause of a lot of things, and if you ask the doctors, nurses, or midwives at the clinics, (like we did in Sweden), they will say “it’s normal”. We have heard that a lot thus far as new parents from the medical professionals we have talked to. And to be honest, “it’s normal” is an answer I simply reject for things like grunting all night or any time the baby is laying down, coughing only while laying down, excessive crying, or anything else that is actually not normal. In the scenario above where he is waking up with grunting, we have found it is likely due to a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance (possibly from night dreamfeeding where he is only eating for a few minutes). I will get into that whole topic another time. 🙂
In my opinion (despite what the doctors say), a baby who is grunting when lying down is a symptom of some other issue that needs attention – unless he is getting a result from that grunting (pooping or farting). If your car is making a weird noise consistently, you get it looked at, right? So why wouldn’t it be the same for a baby? They can’t tell you what’s wrong, so it is our responsibility as parents to make sure we are doing what we can to help them be happy. So, what could be the issue? Probably gas, right? Probably.
Then we need to figure out why the baby is so gassy, and how to deal with it. All babies are gassy, but our little guy has had a very special relationship with gas from the very beginning. That special relationship is simple: he has a lot of it, and does not always know how to remove it from his body. This gas problem he had was so bad that for the first 6 weeks of his life, it was not a pleasure to be around him a lot of the time (it has slowly gotten better since then). We had one occasion where he was excessively whiny and would not be comforted (and would not sleep for more than 20 minutes) for 36 hours. So the gas thing is something that I never knew I would be such a pro about, but it has basically defined how I operate in my life with a baby, so I feel confident talking about it. He is still very gassy at almost 4 months – he will wake us up or completely interrupt a conversation with his farts – pretty amazing for such a small human.
This gas, and the buildup inside the body, creates a lot of pain that I don’t think people really realize. If you have ever had stomach pain caused by gas (maybe from food poisoning, for example), did it help to lay on your back? (no, it hurts like hell) And to get an understanding why colicky babies are colicky – I explained it in this way to a friend of mine: When you first meet someone that you really like and go out on a date with them, sometimes at the end of the night you might have experienced pain in your stomach. That is probably because you are so self conscious that you are over-compensating by “holding it in” during the date, right? We adults release gas just by walking around and we don’t even realize it (that’s comforting to know, isn’t it?!), but babies don’t walk around – and activities that help to release that gas are good. Anyway, the pain we might be feeling after that date is the pain that the baby feels all the time until they learn how to release that pain (basically by farting or pooping). No wonder it hurts and leads to colic!
There are ways to helping to relieve the gas from a colicky baby (or just a gassy baby):
when the baby is laying on his back, lift his legs up so his knees are bent to his chest, and gently rock the legs
when the baby is laying on his back, lift his legs up so his knees are bent to his stomach, and move them in clockwise motion slowly
when the baby is laying on his back, leave 1 leg straight and bend the other up to his chest, very slowly. Usually he will fart when lifting his right leg (apparently there’s science to this, because of where the intestines are, etc.)
do the “walking man” – when he’s laying on his back, move his feet back and forth like he is walking (or riding a bike)- the movement pulls the gas out
“spring efter vatten” (running for water) – move the legs kind of fast like he’s running. Go one way, and then lift up the legs in the other direction. Then “change directions”. While you do this, do a little narration with it: “spring efter vatten, spring efter vatten” (when lifting the legs say) “ösa, ösa” (pour it out, pour it out). Then change directions.
I like this one because it is also a song “run after water run after water, pour it out, pour it out” – kind of fun to do and it does work.
Very unpopular in Sweden is to remove milk and other dairy from the diet (literally nobody we had checkups with mentioned this – no wonder it is “normal” for babies to grunt!)
to be clear for those in Sweden where there are a lot of lactose-free products: this is not about removing lactose, it is removing dairy products altogether
Burp the baby after feeding – there are a lot of techniques out there, but basically it’s just holding him up and over your shoulder, and doing a soft tap with your hand on their back (and the age of 3 months, just putting our son in the sitting position would help him burp)
This is difficult if dream feeding – but super important that you find a way to burp, otherwise the baby will wake up grunting
Do a “stomach massage” on the baby – apparently you can push the gas up and out by massaging the stomach in clockwise direction from waist to waist (we had varying degrees of success – imagine you have gas and someone starts pushing on your stomach. Does that feel good?)
Go for walks with the stroller. The movement and bumps will help “shake” the gas out (I don’t think this is proven, but I think it’s what is happening) – plus the motion is soothing for the baby.
If those methods do not work, there are a few other options that we consider “emergency because the baby won’t stop freaking out after trying for hours”:
Use the Windi – to be blunt, you put the device in the baby’s rectum and it releases the gas (and usually a lot of poop) – we bought a 10 pack and used them 3 times, but we were hesitant because we did not want to create a situation where the baby relies on that stimulation.
Use Gripe Water – this is an American thing, and it works really well to sooth the baby when they have super intense pain and cannot be soothed otherwise. The problem we had was that 1) they do not use it in Sweden so it has not been “approved” (even though the USDA has approved it), so my wife was skeptical, and 2) it worked too well, so my wife was skeptical.
The issue was about putting a substance into our baby, so I can understand why there was skepticism!
When we used it the first time, we used 1/2 the recommended dose after the baby was crying intensely for over 1 hour without stopping and it worked within 5 minutes and the baby slept for 9 hours. So, my wife insisted there must be tranquilizers in it and was concerned (there is not, it is all natural and safe).
emergency supplies: windi and gripe water
I mentioned above that you need to look at the causes of the gas, and I mentioned the diet, but I did not mention feeding technique. I could write a whole separate post about breastfeeding (and I will!), but until then I will only say that breastfeeding is not easy for many people (babies, mothers, fathers, friends, family, etc.) – and I think there is so much focus on “you must breastfeed” that there is a lot of missing education about making sure you are doing it right when you do it. There are things you can do to make sure you are limiting the potential pain, gas, and grunting – just by altering how you feed (like when you switch breasts, and so on).
I don’t intend to write long posts like this very often, but I realized that if someone happens upon this blog in the middle of the night with a grunting or screaming baby, it might be helpful to give in-depth information instead of just glossing over it. And to those people, remember the best advice we got as new parents: everything is a phase, and it will not last longer than 2 weeks, so hang in there!
Today was another busy day for me and the baby. It worked as hoped last night with putting him to bed an hour earlier and waking up an hour earlier today, so we had more time to have some fun this morning, read a few books by Kenneth Andersson, and generally enjoy our time together. Then it was off to lunch, this time with the baby strapped into the baby bjorn.
We were almost there, standing on the street corner, and I felt a little vibration in the area of the baby’s butt. Now, this could be gas, or it could be something a bit more messy (upon inspection later it was thankfully gas). That moment of insecurity really got me thinking: By taking the baby bjorn and no other bags (instead of the stroller and diaper bag), we are both very vulnerable. You can barely go anywhere without a pack full of “what if” baby gear.
If I don’t want to carry the baby bag around, what am I supposed to do? Load up a backpack with every possible thing that we might need? That will weigh 10 kg! Even if I did this, I have “double” shoulder straps (baby bjorn and backpack), which we did at the airport but is not the best option. Then it came to me: if only there were a small bag that could fit around my waist, that I could put the essentials in (my wallet, my phone, 2 diapers, some wipes, and an extra onesie). Does something like this really exist? Could I be that fortunate? Luckily and unluckily it does exist: I know them as fanny packs (throwback to the 90’s and American amusement parks), and now they are reinvented as “hip packs” or “waist packs”. I swore I would never wear one, but that is now my new weekend project.
Fanny packs in 2014 on Matthew McConaughey, and on “The Rock” in the 1990s. I will soon be in their exclusive club.
After lunch it was off to pick up a 2nd hand Baby Bjorn Bouncer. We found one for only 50 hkd (that’s about 55 sek! or 6 usd!) It’s so old that it will probably be in their retro line soon, but we don’t mind, it’s fantastic! We also bought a 2nd hand (but new in box) Stokke Tripp Trapp chair for a really good price from someone else, but that is a boring story.
that is a good looking 2nd hand baby bouncer
The location of the baby bouncer was in Happy Valley (by the race track), so off we went in the metro and by foot. I did not get a “data package” when I got my sim card yesterday, so I was going off the photo of the directions from my wife’s phone (no map, just photo). Long story short, the baby and I walked twice around the race track. It was raining, we were getting wet, and I was starting to worry the little guy might get hungry soon, so I asked a stranger for help. The guy did not know where the street was, so I thanked him and walked off, and looked for a free wifi spot to do it the modern way (google maps). As I was looking on my phone, he came back and found me and helped me find the street (he had looked it up on his phone). This is a city with over 7 million people, and you do not expect to find that kind of kindness. So cool.
My mind is still on the kindness of the kind guy who came back to help me even though he did not need to. It helps you believe a little bit more in the future world my son will live in. That kindness helped to shine light on the grey day, and after that, we found the spot, got our new/old baby bouncer, and headed home. Later, when I put the little guy in the bouncer, he was literally laughing for 5 minutes straight. Today was a great experience for both of us – with a great ending to it.
After dealing with the initial “start the day” routines, it was time to make the journey with the baby to meet my wife for lunch. We had made a plan this first week of her being back at work: the baby and I would go visit her during her work day and have lunch with her – to prevent it from being too emotionally draining for her and him, since they have spent virtually all day, every day together since his birth. She had told me in that time when I was working and she was at home with him that leaving the house can basically be seen as an accomplishment since it is a big process.
She was right, but I will say I am proud of myself for all the things I accomplished while out:
Went for a nice long walk in the mall before the shops were opened (they open at 12 in this mall. 12:00!)
Took out cash at the atm
refilled the octopus card for the metro
took the metro and changed lines (lots of elevator time)
purchased lunch for us (on the 3rd floor of a building with no elevator – in hindsight, not the smartest option)
bought a sim card for my phone
Fed the baby, changed the baby, played with the baby, read to the baby
Ok, the above list is not that impressive when I look at it. But I am leaving it in this post because I want to highlight what was once a list of easy and simple things to do is now considered an accomplishment.
When you are pushing a baby around in a stroller in a city like Hong Kong, it is like navigating a mine field full of people, carts, trollies, and so on – so I learned a big lesson on “stroller vs baby bjorn”.
Today I took the stroller, and then we went out for a few things together as a family and I attached him into the baby bjorn and walked with him. MUCH easier with the baby bjorn. So I think unless I am going on a very very long trip, it’s raining, or we plan to be gone all day, it will be the baby bjorn. The picture below outlines one of the many challenges of the day – try to navigate the setup they had with that stroller!
Last night was interesting – shortly after going to bed, the little guy woke up screaming like he was being murdered. This came after some weird sleep noises, so we concluded he was having a nightmare. This has happened a few times in the last month after days with a lot of stimulation – he will not be comforted, does not want food, and simply screams for about 30 minutes before he can be calmed. But aside from that nasty bump in the road, we think the night was a success! After falling asleep, he slept for a solid 5 hours after that without any stirring, which for us is awesome.
To help prolong his sleeping, we do what they call “dreamfeed” a lot with our little guy. It sounded weird and crazy when I first read about it 4 months ago, but basically he stays sleeping, and we pick him up and feed him – I think it works either for breastfeeding or a bottle, but we do it only while breastfeeding. We started with dreamfeeding when he was very newborn, because he was so resistant to sleep in general. I am really glad we did it – he is now accustomed to eating while he is sleeping for those times when we need him to sleep a little longer, but otherwise he would wake up from being hungry. We do dreamfeeding every night maybe 1 or 2 times a night, and it helps the process be more streamlined for everyone (instead of pick up crying baby –> calm baby –> feed baby, it’s pickup sleeping baby->feed sleeping baby)
So, this morning, when my wife was getting up, she did a quick dreamfeed and put him back to bed – and then right before she left, she did another feed. At that point, 8:30 in the morning, he just kept on sleeping. So, I had a choice to make: let him sleep or get him up. After all, we have to get past jetlag, right? It turns out with babies this young basically cannot have too much sleep – and sleeping during the day will not impact their night sleep like it does for an adult (actually we have found with our son if he does not sleep much during the day he does not sleep well at night). So him having too much sleep was not the concern – it was more about the daily routines (day = X, night = y) that I wanted him to get into here ASAP. I wanted to get him the activity he needed, and get him into a daytime routine, so I went about unpacking and let him sleep until 10:00 (normally he gets up at 6:30 or 7:00, so this is a later start than normal, but his bed time was about 4 hours later than normal). To wake him I did those softer things to slowly wake him up naturally (removed his blanket, made more noise, etc.).
The rest of the day has so far been an awake and alert day with naps often, just like normal. I think the key thing for us to get him transitioned into Day and Night is to not let his day naps be too long – keep them shorter like they usually are, and make sure he is getting fed enough so that when we go to bed, he is not super hungry all night. Tonight I hope to get him to bed 1 hour earlier than last night (so 11:00 for us), and then start by 9.00 tomorrow. Then 10 the next day with an 8:00 start in the morning, and then maybe 9:00 and a 7:00 start and hold it there. Of course he might have other ideas 😉
We flew from Stockholm to Hong Kong via Frankfurt. Flight 1 with the little guy went well – no screaming, no hassle. He was a perfect gentleman. Flight 2, the long one, over 11 hours with a few hours delay before our departure was the real concern for us.
We flew with Lufthansa – side note: you have to book a baby cot in advance, and that means you pay for booking your seats when you book the baby cot.
baby cot on lufthansa
So there we were, seated in 34A and 34B. No chance to get an aisle seat, so we were concerned about that poor aisle person – would he have us sitting next to him with a screaming baby? Would we have to disturb him by getting up a lot? He was a nice guy, very relaxed – reminded me of an Austrian Richard Gere. That made us feel relaxed and at ease. On top of that, our son was in prime mood for the flight (being an overnight flight), so we were happily on our way.
How did it go? Awesome! The little guy looked like a pro. He slept well, and when he was awake he was charming. My wife and I managed smoothly to feed and change him, and even got a little sleep ourselves. And best yet we didn’t disturb the other passengers too much. Victory!
Once in Hong Kong, we strapped him into the Baby Bjorn, and got thru immigration and picked up our bags. We booked a car to pick us up and he was ready and waiting, drove carefully (rare in HK!), and we made it back to the apartment that we are calling home, in Tai Kok Tsui.
Now we are both exhausted and we have a new challenge – baby with jetlag. My wife goes back to work tomorrow, so it will be an interesting day!
My wife is on the train with our son and I am taking all our bags in a taxi. At the airport we will pack our Joolz Day into our Stokke PramPack, and then we will carry our son on our Baby Bjorn.
the gear: stokke pram pack, joolz day, and baby bjorn
Our son is 3,5 months and on our first flight (Stockholm-Oslo) a few weeks ago as our test run, he was “that baby” (screaming the whole flight) and we were “those people” (who can’t control their screaming baby). The return was a little better, but I think my hair is a shade greyer.
This trip is a bit longer: We are going from Stockholm to Hong Kong. This is a trip we have done many times before – without a child. 6 months ago this would be a breeze, but now with a baby we have a long day ahead of us, and it will be the start of an interesting year ahead.
My wife is Swedish and lives and works in Hong Kong, and I am an American with residence in Sweden. My last day at work was Friday, and now I’m taking parental leave to take care of our son. To most Americans, the idea of doing this is a bit unconventional, but it is the norm in Sweden. Not the Hong Kong part – the dad-taking-leave-part. I have always loved working, but now my job is to take care of my son, who up until this week was often skeptical at the sight of me and was unimpressed at my amazing diaper changing skills and inability to breastfeed. What an adventure we have ahead.
A Father on Pappa Leave 