Day 208: Another Trip to Hong Kong Disneyland

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We have guests from Sweden visiting with their two little ones for 2 weeks, so today I brought them to Disneyland!  They had heard it was not very awesome and to go to the other amusement park (ocean park).  I feel like I kind of had to convince them that this would be a good place to visit, because Hong Kong Disneyland for some reason does not have a reputation for being worth the time/money of going.

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the parade goes by without a big crowd

We all had a great time!  I don’t know what it is about that place; maybe it is all the happy kids or families together, and the  positivity running rampant by the park staff and Disney brand.  But whatever it is, I like it – and our guests did too!  After every ride, the four-year-old would be excited and claim that this ride is his favorite and ask to go on it again.
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poo in the parade

I did notice that the Disney rides all have a similar thing that happens (which is also echoed in the movies).  They start off fun, then something scary happens, and then something amazing happens and the story is complete, a metaphor for life served to the world.  So it’s almost like you the viewer comes to rely on the story arc so that you can get your “fix” of getting over the darkness with the help of Disney, who is always there for you.  It’s like they break you down so they can build you up.  

Anyway, I was happy to see that on this visit, I finally know the park enough that if I know what the visitors expect or like, I can plan a good day with a good flow.  It also really helps if we go on the week days – literally none of the rides had longer than a 5-minute wait. Do some rides, go to a show or two, eat some food, and again don’t forget about the rides – this is basically the format we follow.  It seems to work well to have some sort of plan, otherwise you are wondering around aimlessly and do not experience the park in it’s fullest.  But just like anything with kids, nothing can be set in stone!

Day 207: Just a Virus

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We woke up this morning with the little guy’s rash still there, so we decided it was time to go to the doctor.  Fortunately they had time right away in the morning, so I rushed there with him, braced for the news.

So what was it?  The doctor says it’s just some viral infection, so we don’t need to worry about it, it will pass after about a week.  I asked if there was a name for what he had, and the doctor said we could run some tests but it would be pointless.  I agreed, the important thing was that it wasn’t any of the big ones (measles, hand foot and mouth, etc).

While I am relieved it is nothing super serious and it seems like all we have to do now is let the rash go away in due time, it feels a bit unsatisfying.  “Just a viral infection” is notoriously what a lot of American doctors say when they don’t know what something really is. So, what if this guy doesn’t know what it is?  Does it matter?  Does it help to know when the instructions of “just wait it out” are the same?  

I guess it says a lot about the power of a label.  Having the name allows us to state what the little guy has been going thru, without any question.  It also allows us to obsess on it by googling it for hours.  Maybe it’s best not to know after all 😉

Day 206: Rash, Rash, Everywhere

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As I wrote yesterday, the little guy has been sick.  It was a high fever yesterday accompanied by a rash all over the body.  Today the fever is pretty much gone, but gets brighter outside where it is hot.

The trouble with rashes like this is that most of the children’s viral infections involve a rash that looks very similar.  So if you google, “roseola” (3 day fever), “measles,” “heat rash,” and a few others, they all yield basically the same result only with one or two “telltale signs” for that infection.  For example, with roseola, there is a high fever for 3 days, and when it breaks there is a rash all over the body.  With measles, the rash starts with bigger spots on the face and head and it moves down the body, and there are also white patches inside the mouth.  Neither of these apply to what we have seen with the little guy.

I think he has heat rash, brought on by being in the hot weather at a birthday party this weekend, combined with the oil we put on him to stop him from getting but bites.  Heat rash basically comes from underdeveloped sweat glands in babies and can result from heavy oils or things like being over-clothed.  The sweat basically gets trapped inside and it creates a weird reaction.

My wife is of the opinion that it is roseola, and that we didn’t measure the high fever that we both kind of noticed over the weekend.  We both at times felt his forehead and thought he felt a little warmer than usual but didn’t stop and check it.  So basically she thinks we are at the end of the cycle of roseola.  My friend whose child had it recently (another reason she thinks it is this!) said roseola really wipes the baby out, so since the little guy was active over the weekend, it probably isn’t this.  I’m not sure what I think about the idea that he might be at the end of roseola.

I went to buy him some antihistamine in case it is just an allergic reaction to the oil we used, and when I showed the pharmacist the little guy’s rash, he literally jumped back like the little guy was a tiny leper.  The pharmacist said measles were going around and it looked like it could possibly be measles, but said to try the antihistamine first and see if that helps. He did mention if it is measles that there is not much you can do anyway.  I looked measles up a lot online and the symptoms the little guy has shown do not show measles as the culprit, but you never know, we go to a lot of playrooms, which I guess is measles favorite place to hang out.

Of course we don’t know what is going on with him, so we are going to plan for a trip to the doctor tomorrow morning unless it is waaaaay better when we wake up tomorrow.  By then we can say it’s been 2 full days, and we can hopefully get a fair assessment of what the deal is.  It’s hard to see a little rash-covered guy, but at least he stillnhas the sparkle in his eyes, so rash or not, he’s still the same mostly-joyful baby as usual.

Day 205: Sick Baby

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The little guy has had a fever and a rash on his arms and legs today.  It has been hard to look at him and see that he is clearly uncomfortable, to see that he is not feeling well.  These are the times when you as a parent want to take the pain of your child upon yourself, to take away what they are feeling because you know you can handle it.  But for now all I can do is be patient and loving, give him everything I can, and hope for a speedy recovery.

Day 204: Another Little One or Not?

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With the little guy at 10 months, it is a good time for my wife and I to take more seriously all our previous conversations about having a second child.  We have talked about it a lot over the last 10 months, as we explore if we want to bring into our family another member.

The big worry my wife has is “I can’t split up my love, I don’t want the little guy to get less love than I currently can give him.”  My answer to that is that love is not finite thing, you do not have X amount that you give and then run out.

My concern is about everyone in our family getting what they need and feeling loved.  I feel that we can’t responsibly bring another person into the world if my wife/me/little guy are not feeling loved and/or having our needs met.

If we do want to have another child, it’s all about timing.  We know we want to wait and not have one even in the next 1,5 years, but we do not want to wait too long either if we want the little guy and his future sibling to have a close relationship.  Then if course you often do not get pregnant immediately so you want to factor that into the timeline.

All-in-all, it’s not the easiest thing for us to make the decision of having another child or not.  So, for now, all we can do is keep an open mind about it and make sure we are building a family that is full now, but has room for one more 😉

Day 203: Bug Bites

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The little guy got nailed by bugs yesterday, and today is when the little red spots from their bites appeared.  He had some on his face and some in his arms – not pleasant to look at and it just makes you want to itch when you see them.

We have lived here in this community since April, and we have gone out every day and have never had a problem with bugs bothering me or the little guy.  But for some reason yesterday was the day the hugs said “hmmmm, we’ve gotta try this guy out.”  The bugs I am talking about are either sand flies or “no see ums,” which they say were brought over to the area by importing the sand on the beaches from Australia.

So now it’s on with the bug spray.  I had two moms show me theirs today at a get-together, and we already have something that I wasn’t using before.  The first step in ensuring your bug spray works is actually using it 😉

Day 202: Bean Bagging It

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One thing that is amazing about living in Hong Kong is the used items that people sell, and for waaaay less than their value.  If the time is right and you are the first person to call dibs on something, it’s yours.  And that’s how it was with our new beanbag chair.

I met with the woman to look at it, and she launched into the “hard sell” with me.  Gotta love it when people do that.  But she also explained how to change the beans over from the current beanbag chair to the extra bag/cover.  “As a bean bagger for my whole life” the Australian woman started her sentence.  I thought, “wow, I didn’t even know “bean bagging” was a thing!”

So I got this bean bag and extra cover, but the woman had never changed the old cover and she had a cat (translation: time to change the cover).  So, tonight it was time to change the cover, and that meant moving the beans from one cover to the other.

The one tip that the woman gave was to go in an air right room, and put a towel down at the door so there is no air flow.  That was good advice – these little beans made of styrofoam go everywhere with just the littlest movement.

So there I was, trying to move millions of beans, trapped in the hot bathroom on a Friday night after I was exhausted from the week.  I tried one way, it didn’t work, then another way, that was worse.  Did I lose the zipper-pull paperclip into the beanbag?  Are they spilling out?  Are the beans going to make it to the new bag?  Talk about stressful!  I don’t want the little guy eating one of those beans, so every single one needs to be accounted for.  No sudden movements while the bags are unzipped!

Finally I figured it out. Get a hanger, hang up the empty bag.  Then, pour the beans from the old bag into the new.  Then to make sure it is empty, turn the old bag inside out while it is inside the new one.  Then enjoy the hours of happiness your child gets from crawling around on it.  The things we do 😉

Day 201: The Hurt You Feel When Your Little One Gets Hurt

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Today I had a morning play date with a baby and mom who we have not spent much time with.  It was at her place, and her baby is younger than the little guy – not crawling yet.  So that meant her place was in no way baby proof.

The little guy was standing using a very low (chest-level for him) coffee table.  He fell to his butt, and in the process he hit his chin.  That made his mouth shut quickly, and in the snap of his jaw, the little tooth that had not broken thru yet was broken thru for him by the other one beneath it.  Crying, lots of crying.  And there was blood too.

The feeling I had when this happened was to immediately comfort and calm him.  He needed me to hold him and tell him it was ok, and to reassure him that it was no big deal – that he was just scared from the “boom” noise.  While I did this, I was pretty calm, and checked him out to see what the injury was exactly.

When I saw the blood in his mouth, that’s when I got scared.  My little boy, the little guy I only want to see smile and laugh, was bleeding.  His mouth had blood in it, and I wanted to make sure he was ok – and I can’t tell you how relieved I was to see it was not a cut or gash, but the product of an extra-hard bite taken as a result of his quick drop to the floor.

It hurts to see the ones you love in pain.  Any kind of pain.  It hurts more than I ever thought to see my son in pain, and it is scary to me to think about the reality that I will see him in pain many more times in the future too.  Physical pain, emotional pain, you name it – helping this little person (who will grow up to be a big person) through those hard times is what you sign up for when you decide to be a parent.  

So this afternoon when I was returning from another playgroup, and he was extra rowdy and I made him laugh when I played with him, I found the laughter I heard extra rich.  I love that laugh, I never want it to go away.

Day 200: How Fast Time Flies

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Already I have been on Pappa Leave now for 200 days!  Crazy how fast time flies!

When I started on leave, I was a dad who loved my son and wanted the best for him – but I had little confidence in what I was doing.  I was afraid to do something wrong or to mess up in any way.  I wanted to rock this “stay at home dad” thing but was full of nerves.

So how do I feel now?  I’m still afraid of messing up, I still want the best for the son that I love.  But now, I’m more confident.  I know my son, I know what he needs and what he is crying or whining about.  I know how to keep him happy, what kinds of things he likes and dislikes are.  And I’m much more confident.  I’m not afraid to be alone with him, in other words. 😉

Of course the key will be to remember that he’s growing and changing and what is working now will change and evolve.  His likes will change to dislikes (like how he gagged and actually threw up when I fed him a carrot and pumpkin purée today, which he used to love), he will freak out about things that he has not been bothered by before.  But I’ll just know “I’ve got this, it’ll be ok.”  Onward we go 🙂

Day 199: Appreciating Where You Are

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Today I had a really nice day with the little guy and one of his friends and his mom.  We hang out all the time, and we are always on the go somewhere.  For example yesterday was Disneyland, and this week we will probably make a few other trips around Hong Kong.  But today was nice because we simply enjoyed the part of the city we live in.

We live in a part of Hong Kong called Discovery Bay, which is on an island about 25 minutes by ferry away from Central Hong Kong.  You can also take a bus to the MTR (metro) station and be wherever you want in 30-45 minutes.  So it is a little isolated, but no more than any other neighborhood if you think about it.

Anyway, today we went for a few nice walks, had a coffee, had lunch in one of the nice clubhouses in the neighborhood, and went to the playroom at the other clubhouse.  There are parks everywhere to enjoy, a nice beach and promenade area, and there are a lot of wonderful restaurants, too.  So why do we keep trying to go everywhere else all the time?  It’s one of those things, I guess – it feels like you are accomplishing something to always be on the go.  But in reality, you can have a really nice time putting on the breaks and enjoying the things that make your neighborhood / town / city special.

I guess what I am saying is, there’s a reason you moved to the place you live in, right?  So why not occasionally stay in that area, treat it like a new place, and go to the restaurants, enjoy the sights, and see things from new, fresh eyes.  It can be good for you, especially if you feel like you are getting in a rut, and are seeing the same things everyday.  If you see the same things everyday, just change the view that you take when you see them – they’re your eyes, after all. 😉