Day 398: The Importance of”Regular” Play Time

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Sometimes with the little guy I am so focused on go-go-go.  We need to go here, there, to this playground, then this park, then this thing.  He needs to be stimulated, to be worn out, to see things and experience the world.  But I forget about how important it is to give him simple regular old play time, too.

This morning we had someone coming to our apartment at 10, so we were here playing and reading for the whole morning, which was nice.  We were off to meet our friends at one of the playgrounds, when I got a call that they had to take off and was invited to just hang out for a bit with a friend of the little guy’s and his dad.

It was so nice!  To see these little guys playing together, dancing to the music together, sharing (stealing) toys with one another.  There was a lot of reading, and both kids came to me and to the father to be read to.  There was no crying, no fussing, just a lot of fun.

So it was resolved that we will do things like this more often for our kids.  Running around in the park and the playgrounds, and going on trips to the city are all important.  But so is having that good, old, “regular” play time, too.

Day 397: No. He’s a toddler. They are weird.

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The title of this post is an actual WhatsApp message I sent to my wife this morning.  The little guy had a really bad night last night.  Whining, crying, whimpering in his sleep.  Then, when he finally woke up and I was in the room (on what felt like my 20th trip in there in a 20 minute period), he did not want me.  He wanted mom.

So, my wife took him and he calmed down, then fell asleep.  But when she put him down he woke up and freaked out, so she brought him to our bed.  And since they are both the world’s most restless sleepers, I headed out to the sofa for the night and slept like a baby, ironically.

The WhatsApp conversation in reference above was after my wife was on her way to work.  We were theorizing about what could be the problem.  Teething?  probably.  Can he sense our upcoming move and is he weirded out by the fact that some things are disappearing from our flat? (tv was sold yesterday) – maybe.  A little off his rhythm because my wife was with him for our holiday and the days after was Easter holiday?  Possibly.

Then, finally, my wife asked, “are you worried?”  To that, I responded, “No.  He’s a toddler.  They are weird.”  And I truly mean it.  They are fun and crazy and wild and happy and sad and excited and devastated and genuine and fake and full of love and full of disinterest  – all at the same time.  They are opening their eyes to the world; seeing so many things for the first time.  Experiencing things for the first time.  And it is this that gets processed by them and is sometimes turned into all their weirdness.  Like how my son tries to put on shoes on top of the shoes he is wearing, or how he today took a jar of body lotion and acted like he was doing his hair while I was doing my hair.  He’s just trying to figure out how to exist in the world, and sometimes it happens in the less-fun ways (like last night), and sometimes a little one just needs a hug and to be close to their mom.

I love my son, and I really enjoy being around his tiny little toddler friends.  And they are all tiny little crazy little weirdos, just trying to figure it all out.  Sometimes they have an off day or night, and just like how we shouldn’t make a big deal about it when they fall, we shouldn’t make a big deal about it when they have an off day.  Things will find their balance.

Day 396: Toddler Shoes are Cooler than Mine

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Today we took a trip to Tung Chung and the outlet mall there.  I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to get out of town and do a little shopping (because there’s not enough shopping in Hong Kong itself 😛 ).  The reason we went there was to look for shoes for the little guy.  We had found some New Balance shoes at the kids stores in Ocean Center, but they were a bit more expensive than I wanted to spend.

So, off we went to the mall.  And there it was, the New Balance store.  Damn!  I looked in the window and those kids shoes are awesome!  Not one pair, not two, but just about all of them looked cooler than mine.  Next step, get into the tiny store and get a pair for him.  Easier said than done.  The shop is tiny.

We went in, and I parked the little guy’s stroller in a spot where he could make a very small amount of damage (his reach is expanding!).  And then I squeezed my way to the kids shoe area where the staff member insisted I did not touch anything but just tell him what I wanted.  So I told him the size and squeezed my way back to the little guy.  Then he came with the shoes.  SWEET!

He instantly fell in love with these things and insisted he try them on.  Then, I let him out of the stroller and he walked in them and he laughed and tried to run around.  So, we bought them (a good price!), and left the store.  He was already on his feet so he was walking behind me, and he insisted on taking the shoe out of the box and carrying it.  Then he put it on the floor and tried to put it on.  Then he cried until I put the shoes on him.  On the floor.  In the middle of the mall entrance.  Awesome.

After that, he was so happy he was like a cow in the spring jumping and running around.  He did the same thing in his new Nikes, so I wonder if he has a thing for new shoes?  Hmmm, maybe he has been talking too much with his grandma (my mom) 😉

Happy Feet

Day 395: Books Wrapped in Plastic at the Book Shops in Hong Kong

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Today we went to Ocean Terminal and while I was there I saw a few great book stores for kids books.  In particular because of the sheer depth of their inventory, I was impressed by Book Castle.  The first time I was there was a few weeks ago and the guy there was actually annoyed with me for asking him if they had a title and grumbled when I asked if he could search in his computer for something when he had told me “just look on the shelves.”  But the lady today was really helpful.

There is no shortage of book stores in Hong Kong, but they all suffer the same plight.  They do not want you to read the books before you buy them.  Seriously.  And they keep you from reading them by wrapping them in plastic.

plastic!

This is interesting to me not only because I am American and people there like to sit in book shops for hours and hours reading books and drinking coffee also purchased from the book shop coffee bar.  But I also come most recently from Sweden, where there are book stores everywhere and people love to read, and there they also take their time finding a good book.  In fact, I think this is the case in most European countries.

Have you ever tried to shop for a kids book without looking inside?  Ha!  Fortunately the lady at the store was willing to let me see the book before I bought it.  She unwrapped the plastic and there it was, a book in my hands, ready to open and see if the little guy would like it.  But of course I felt instantly guilty for making her do this, so I bought both the books that I had her open 😉

Day 394: Hey Good Lookin’

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The little guy could quite possibly be a narcissist.  I mean it in the old, original use of the term from Greek mythology.  You know, when Narcissus falls in love with his own image in a reflection in the lake.  I think the same thing happens every time the little guy sees a mirror.

Brushing the teeth is usually something the little guy likes doing, most likely because he gets to look at himself.  In the mornings, after a little cuddle time in the bed with me and his mom, he will usually see himself in a small mirror on our closet and smile and talk to himself.  In the same mirror later this morning, he was kissing his own reflection.

It is super funny at the moment how intrigued he is by his own reflection.  This person on the wall is so fun!  This person is also sticking out their tongue!  This person also touches their hair!  But he knows this other person is him, and that’s what makes it so interesting.  He is learning about himself in a different way than usual every time he sees a mirror, and in the process he always takes a moment to say, “hey good lookin’.”

Day 393: Trapped by the Perfect Weather

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Today was by all accounts a perfect day in Hong Kong.  22 degrees c (72 f), and only 45% humidity (compared to 95%).  It was sunny with the occasional cloud drifting by.  Amazing.  It felt just like we were in Sweden in the summer, actually.  Awesome.

Then it came time to decide what to do.  We had plans to go to Ocean Terminal to a few shops and maybe lunch and so on.  But the thing is, the weather was perfect.  So perfect that it would be a sin to be inside when it is so nice, right?  So perfect that it would be crazy to go all the way from Discovery Bay, with it’s clear air, parks, and nice walks as a family.

So there we were.  We had 8 minutes to catch the ferry or wait for another 3o minutes, and that would mess up the lunch timing for the little guy.  It was time NOW to figure it out.  I said, “ok, stay or go?”  My wife didn’t say anything.  “Hey, stay or go?”  She said finally, “we should not go to Ocean Center, it’s too nice today.  We have to stay here.”  Ok, a decision.

We were walking the opposite direction of the ferry, and I thought about it a bit.  I said, “ok, are we trapped here then because it’s nice weather?  We can’t do anything we planned to do this weekend then?”  She said that wasn’t the case, but to me it felt like it.

See the thing is, my wife is Swedish.  There’s a bit of a mindset built into all Swedes, and apparently, it works like a switch.  If the weather is nice, SWITCH, all things change so you can “enjoy” it.  My wife used to say that Spring is the most stressful time of the year because of all the pressure to enjoy it all the time.  Of course this switching to enjoy the good weather is a nice thing most of the time – nice memories with nice weather.  But of course they also have an expression in Sweden, “there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.”  So that means that it is always “nice weather” and you should be out enjoying it.  You see how this works?  Tricky.

Of course I am American, so for me, I appreciate good weather when it comes.  I might even alter my plans because of it slightly.  But if it is good or bad, usually you just stop and say, “oh, how nice / oh, how not nice” and go on with it.  But I certainly am not afraid to spend a day doing what I want, or what we want, because it happens to be better or worse weather than I had in mind when I made the plans.

In the end it was a wonderful day anyway, so no complaints about how it was spent.  Just an interesting look at how we come to enjoy these nice days when they come our way 😉

Day 392: Post Holiday Mindset

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Now we are back from the holiday and into our typical rhythm here in Hong Kong.  It is funny because Hong Kong, and especially where we live in Hong Kong, is a holiday destination of it’s own.  But nonetheless, it is where we are living, so it does not feel like a holiday place.  And after we are back, I think both me and my wife are feeling a little “blah.”

We have a lot of things to prepare for in our move back to Sweden in a few months, and that means a lot of “reality” staring at us in the face.  Reality of packing up our stuff, our lifestyle, our day-to-day routine, and starting over again with a new one.  We were both feeling a little anti-social today, but we had a get-together with the little guy’s friends that we were obligated to attend.  It was a nice time, but we were both ready to go when it was time.

I think a lot of how we felt is pretty common, a type of “post-holiday blues.”  You know, when you go away on a holiday, or visit family and/or friends who live elsewhere, or do something that lets you relax and enjoy that focused time only on what you like?  It’s a nice feeling when you have it, but after you get back home, it’s hard to readjust.

Sometimes maybe you are not supposed to readjust.  Sometimes maybe you are supposed to spin things a little bit to be more like that time away, so that you bring some of that into your life.  It could be simple things, like “we should eat more fruit like we did in Thailand.”  Or it could be more complicated things, like “I would like to take more time for myself like I did when I was in XY place.”

No-matter what, things will always fall back into place after a holiday, but it is about you and your attitude when you get back as to whether they fall back into place comfortably or not.  It is always nice on some levels to be back on that rhythm you left behind (you can’t stay on holiday forever or it wouldn’t be holiday).  But to me it’s about letting that time do it’s “repair work” on you, so that you can come back to your “real life” and see the things you take for granted, and appreciate the world you live in – the good, the bad, and everything in-between.  That, to me, is the beauty of going away on a holiday, and the beauty of coming back is in the new pair of glasses you wear when you return 😉

Day 391: 5 days in Thailand without sunburn

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We are now home after our 5-day trip to Phuket.  It was a really nice trip, and I’m glad we went.

Both my wife and I are super careful about suncare with the little guy.  A fair-skinned kid in South East Asia will get burned in just a few minutes if you are not careful.  Luckily we have the right things when we go out into the sunny days:

  • Shade.  Always find it, always see how you can be in it.  Look for it immediately, like when you enter a bus and look for an empty seat.
  • The right clothing.  We have a sun hat for him, a swim shirt, and long pants if we need them.  We also have a muslin cloth we can drape across his legs, too.
  • Sunblock.  Use a high SPF, applied regularly.

 

this is the sunblock we use for the little guy
 
Back in the ’80s when I was a kid, we did not worry about suncare at all.  Neither did our parents.  Skin cancer wasn’t really well understood yet, and the ozone layer was also not as damaged so the damaging sun rays were not coming thru as much.  We would go to the beach and get a “good burn” and then that would turn into a tan, and then you were worshipped for your tanning skills.  

Nowadays we are more concerned about these things, and my son is gladly now sleeping in his bed, and you would never know he just spent a week on the beach and in the pool in Thailand.

Day 390: WATERmelon

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We are almost done with our time in Thailand.  It went so quickly, and I cannot believe we stayed at the resort without really even leaving it for the entire time.  Neither my wife nor I are like that typically, but when you have a 16-month old, it is nice to fall into a rhythm.  Mornings at the beach/ocean, nap for him / read for us, lunch, playroom inside, then swimming in the afternoon shade.  One thing we had trouble with all the heat (32 degrees) was getting the little guy to drink water.

“Skol!”  We would say, hoping he would enjoy the game and drink along with us.  Nope.  Or I should say he would, but it would not be enough, or for long enough.  Going inside to get out of the heat?  Not working, still not drinking much.

Hmmm.  What about watermelon?  It’s 91-92% water (depending on your source).  So if we can get him to eat some, it’ll get him the water he needs!  Did it work?  YES!  This afternoon for example he ate 1/4 of a watermelon.  I got the scraps.

It is super challenging to get someone to drink water who does not understand the need, or does not know what dehydration is.  So of all the things we tried this week regarding water consumption, this one seems to be our winner.  

image from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTknN7XxtNE
 

Day 389: A Different Childhood

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Today while the little guy was sleeping and I was laying in the beach chair next to him, I had a reality check.  It was one of those quick ones that you might not notice most of the time if you are on holiday because you are so focused on all the wonderful things.  I still see those wonderful things, but I guess I appreciate it even more now.  I can’t help but feel grateful for not only my upbringing and background but also to be able to raise my son in a way that allows us to take holidays like the one we are on.  Here’s what I saw: 

Basically what you have here is a kid selling stuff.  A kid at work, on a Wednesday morning. What do your kids do on Wednesday mornings?  He was probably somewhere between 8-12 years old, selling “hand made” wind chimes to the tourists, who bought stuff from him readily.  I was crushed when I saw this, probably because I have my own son who I want to give a great life to, and seeing this reminds me of the reality of child labor in the world, the reality of the hardship of life in many parts of the world, and what the reality of tropical tourist destinations is behind the resort doors.

I felt so grateful to have the life I have been given.  So grateful to be from where I am from, to have the parents I have.  How easy it is to take the simple fact for granted that I got to go to school when I was a child.  I want to give the same and so much more to my son.  I want others to also do the same, and I want children everywhere to experience a true childhood full of learning and wonder and fun, not selling trinkets on the beach.